Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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