I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
