oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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