There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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