sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have tasted many bathrooms
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
