As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
