Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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