The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
