I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
