i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
