Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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