I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize