We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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