Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
