I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
