Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
