we made out on top of his cat.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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