he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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