If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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