it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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