two words: eviction party
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's always time for handjobs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
