the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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