Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
