He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
