I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
