508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
