We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
