I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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