Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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