At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
