Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
