I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
