Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
