can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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