he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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