If i come over, it means nothing
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize