Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
