you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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