so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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