My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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