There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
