You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
