it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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