my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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