I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
