hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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