We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
