then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
