Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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