Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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