Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
