Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize