Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
