I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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