the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
